Falling Apart
by StuckInThePast
Summary: When one of their own is in danger, the team start to fall apart. Hints of Densi and Neric.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I really did not expect to find myself writing this. I've barely even watched the show for months, caught up on the last half of the season over the weekend, suddenly I'm a diehard Densi shipper, and then, well, this happened, out of the blue. I guess if I was writing the show, and had to remove a team member, this is what I think I'd have to do._

_NB: I'm perhaps taking a few liberties – both with Sam's family and with medical fact. I really don't know much about this, so I've just manipulated a few things to suit the purposes of this fic. I don't think I went so out there for it to be completely impossible. _

**Falling Apart**

Nobody expected a call like this.

It was just a regular day, no dead Marines, no terrorist ops, no Mexican drug cartels, just a stack of paperwork and far too much time to do it in. They were just… kidding around, teasing one another, putting off the work. Kensi had grabbed Nell and Eric on their way to Ops, to settle a bet with Deeks, and Callen had taken a phonecall over to the coffee machine. It was a normal day.

"I don't think we can settle this," Nell was saying, and Kensi was practically begging her when a crash cut across her voice.

"Are you sure?" they heard Callen say. He was leaning heavily against the counter, his voice tense, and his mug was in pieces on the floor. "When did you find out? How… Of course. I'll be right over. Hang in there, Clara." He closed his phone, and for a moment didn't notice the others watching him. Then he looked up, eyes hollow. "Um, Sam… Sam was in a car accident this morning. He's in the OR, but it doesn't look good…"

There was a long, stunned pause. Then, a wild scrambling as they took off, as a unit, for the car park.

…

"Can they tell us anything?"

Kensi hadn't been crying, but she had been fighting it back, and it didn't look to Callen as if she was even aware of Deeks' arm around her back, holding onto her tightly – as much for his own support as for hers, it seemed. Eric sat on a bench by their side, shaking, clinging to the seat. He looked like hell. Callen shook his head.

"They're speaking to his wife now. Clara will talk to me. But, uh, it sounds like… bad news."

A kind of noise escaped from Kensi, and Deeks strengthened his grip on her reflexively. Eric sank a little in his seat. Surely they couldn't do without Sam. Surely they wouldn't have to.

"Agent Callen?" a nurse called, appearing at the other end of the corridor. "You can speak to Mrs Hanna now." There was a funny look in his eyes, as if something was terribly wrong. "I'm sorry."

That was enough to send Callen running. Enough to have Kensi turn in Deeks' arms and cry into his shoulder, and for tears on his part, too. Enough for Nell, coming back from a phonecall to Hetty, to recoil in horror at the sight, to freeze, and to grab hold of Eric with all the force she could muster.

Not Sam. He was the strong one. He was the rock of the team, the solid, faithful, foundational one. They needed him. They couldn't…

"It doesn't mean," Kensi began, then stopped, choking on another sob. She lifted her head from Deeks' shoulder; didn't let go of him, but raised one arm to dry her eyes before she tried again. "Sorry doesn't mean Sam…" She stopped again.

"Kens…" Deeks murmured into her ear.

"No, I have to… Doesn't mean he's gone," she managed.

"Not for certain," Eric said quietly. He was the only one with dry eyes, but there was a resounding emptiness in his voice that said he felt it just as painfully as any of them. "But we have to face that it doesn't sound promising."

"Kensi's right," Deeks said. "Until Callen comes out here and tells us that Sam is… We don't have to give up hope."

"No. No, we don't have to do that."

Slowly, Deeks and Kensi settled onto the bench with the others, still holding onto each other as if for dear life.

"What did Hetty say?"

Nell wiped at her eyes with more effect than grace. "She's on her way. LAPD are looking at the car now."

"Had to be an accident," Deeks contributed quietly. "Sam would know if he was being tailed. No way could he be taken out on purpose."

"He's not out," Kensi said sharply. Then she squeezed his hand, and rested her head on his shoulder.

"This must be hell for Callen."

Deeks glanced up at Eric's words, tightening his hold on Kensi, as if afraid that she too would slip away. She wriggled closer. She didn't have to imagine what Callen was going through.

They sat, huddled together in silence for ten minutes before the door opened to admit Callen. They sat up as one, still holding on to one another, but straightening with the tension.

"It isn't good news," he said quietly. "Sam's alive, but he probably won't make it."

The stillness radiated around them. Callen took a breath. "We're going to help them through it," he said. "Nell, his kids need picking up from school. Eric, see what closure we can get them from the accident, and make sure that's all it is. Deeks, find his SEAL buddies, get them down here. Kensi… can you sit with Sam and Clara?"

Kensi nodded, biting her lip a little. It would be hard on her; Callen almost reconsidered. But he couldn't send her to Sam's home. Only he could do this. The others disappeared off into their various tasks, an array of sniffles and touches punctuating the scuffle of movement. Callen caught a little moment between Deeks and Kensi, a kind of half-hug that meant support for them both. He and Sam had discussed a number of times if there was something going on there. What they would do to Deeks if he hurt their girl. It was strange to think that he might be just exactly what she needed. Maybe she needed someone who needed her, too. He would try and talk to Sam about it. If there was time.

When the others were gone, he took Kensi down to Sam's private room. Clara rose when they entered, ignoring Callen's introduction and dragging him off to one side. "I don't need a babysitter, G."

"You shouldn't be alone," he said quietly. "Just be on the safe side, okay? We don't know for certain this was an accident." He paused. "Clara, if you trust me, you can trust Kensi."

Clara held his gaze for a moment, then nodded silently before moving back to Sam's side.

"I'm going back to your place," he said. "I'll get anything you might need, be back as soon as I can. Kensi, keep me in the loop."

Clara was first to speak up, a couple of minutes' silence after Callen was gone. "So how long have you known my husband?"

"Four years," Kensi said after a brief calculation. "Wow, I never realised it was so long." She paused. "Or so short."

"Don't talk like it's over."

Kensi glanced down for a second, inhaling deeply. "No, you're right. There's no need to give up hope just yet. What… what have the doctors said?"

Clara was silent for a minute. Kensi was aware of the other woman studying her carefully, sussing her out, deciding what to share. "It really doesn't look good," she said quietly. "He sustained a lot of injuries, and some of them are dangerous. But Sam's been through some crap before. We'll know more when he's awake."

"They think he'll wake up soon?"

Clara masked a look of surprise at the sheer volume of tense eagerness in Kensi's tone. "That's what they say," she said, and turned Sam's hand over in hers, massaging softly with her thumb. "If he doesn't, we're in serious trouble. But there's no need to go down that road just yet."

"No." Kensi was about to say more, but the ringing of her phone cut across. "Sorry, I just have to take this." She crossed the room and closed the door behind her. "Eric, what can you tell me?"

"Not a lot, he managed to be completely away from any traffic cams. Suspect number one is a black SUV, I can't make out the plates but we can't rule out a hit just yet. Deeks has three SEALs on the way and a couple more coming soon. Nell will have the kids there in fifteen minutes, and I've not heard from Callen. Any news on your end?"

Kensi glanced back towards the room. The blinds were nearly closed, but she could just make out Clara bent right over Sam. "Nothing yet. Chances get worse by every minute he doesn't respond. And what if he doesn't wake up? Eric, what are we going to do without him?"

There was a brief silence, and Eric sounded defeated when he answered, "I don't know."

Kensi sighed and shifted to lean against a wall, taking a second to breathe, to get rid of the tears in her voice. "Sorry, Eric, that was dumb. We're going to get him through this."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Well, I've got to update Callen. Take care, Kensi."

What an idiot she was. How unfair on Eric, for her to explode on him like that, he wasn't suited to dealing with her kind of crap, she couldn't offload on him. If anyone, she could talk to Deeks, but it wasn't fair for her to go to Eric. And now he'd be beating himself up and… She would deal with it later. Talk to Deeks when he got back to the hospital. Now, she would be there for Sam, and there for Clara. It was all she could do.

…

"Miss Neeeeeell?"

"Yeah?" Nell sighed, trying to keep her eyes on the road and not on Sam's daughter.

"Why aren't we at school?"

It was a question the kids kept plaguing her with, and she really didn't know what to do. Nell wasn't great with kids at the best of times, but this was Sam, and it was pretty damn near the worst. Still, she had to give whatever she could manage. "Your daddy needs to see you," she said carefully. What could she say in this situation? It wasn't down to her to explain.

"But why?"

"He'll tell you all about it later," she answered.

"A surprise?" Rebecca asked eagerly, bouncing about in her seat.

"Not quite." Nell shook her head, for the moment able to enjoy silence. She really was terrible with kids.

…

"What the hell, man? I can't fly out to LA. I got a life. There better be a damn good reason for this crap."

"Yeah." Deeks paused, and then said, "Sam Hanna."

The tone of the other voice changed at once. "What kind of crap has he got himself into this time? Hey, man? What's going on? Is Sam okay?"

"No," he said. "No, he's not. And he's going to need family around him."

"I'll be there by the end of the day."

Once he got hold of each man, it wasn't hard at all to get them to come over. Deeks kind of wondered at the strength of these SEAL bonds. He didn't think anybody would fly over from Toronto on a half-day's notice for him. Perhaps Kensi would. And Callen, Eric, Nell, Hetty. Sam. But Sam was that kind of guy. A good guy. Why had this had to happen to Sam?

…

"No, you listen to me. You put your best doctors on this one because he is one of my men and he is worth it. You said you owe me one, Ronald. I'm collecting. Do not let anything happen to this man."

Hetty slammed the phone down. This was not how her agents were supposed to be treated. To think a man as valuable and strong as Sam Hanna could be described as "just another RTA" was unthinkable, and most certainly despicable. And she could do nothing. She wasn't used to doing nothing.

…

Callen slung the bag over his shoulder and locked the door behind him. Anything Sam's family might need while they were stuck there, was in his bag. Any kind of stuff that would help Sam, or Clara, or Becca or Chris. He still didn't get the whole stuff thing. But it was for Sam. And that was why there was a single sequined glove in that bag.

Single glove. Pairs, partners, weren't meant to be kept separate. And Sam was more. Family. A tough word for Callen, one that included very few people. Sam himself. Hetty and Kensi. Deeks, on a good day. He couldn't lose one single part of that. And Sam was too alive.

Nobody that alive could die like this, could they?

He refused to dwell, and started to think about what he could tell Sam's kids.

…

Finally, a new angle had come in. Somebody had caught the accident on camera, and the tape had gone through LAPD before winding up on Eric's computer. And from the footage, he could see the man in the other car before the crash itself. A woman, waiting at the lights, but looking apprehensive. She knew what was coming. He couldn't ID her just yet, but that man in the car…

He had something.

"Cobra" didn't seem to fit the bill.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: This has taken a long time for me to write, for various reasons of that pesky RL. But I want to tell you about a couple of things that are going to make a difference to the fic._

_He came into the college one day – I was working at a college at the time, and he was a student – and told myself and another member of staff that he wanted permission to go home. On the way home from getting groceries, his dad had been shot dead, and his eighteen-year-old brother kidnapped. Just because they happened to have money. The brother has been released now, and is completely safe, and the man himself is still studying in England, but it shocked me. This stuff isn't just the kind of thing that happens on NCIS and in fanfic. It happens to real people who are good students and want to be safe in the world. So I want to dedicate this fic to the people who are living through these kind of things in the real world. For what it's worth._

_There is an OC who appears in this fic, named Reece Jackson. The surname came from nowhere, but the character is dedicated to Reece, who was my little brother's best friend and like a second brother to me, until about seven years ago, when he died in an accident. I don't remember him very well, but he meant a lot to my family, and Jackson is devoted to his memory._

**Chapter Two**

"Eric, I want to hear good news," Callen ordered, and there was a sigh from the other end of the line.

"I can give you half that. I've been watching the guy that drove into Sam, and his behaviour is just all wrong for an accident. The car swerves a couple of times, like he's trying to make the decision to crash. He doesn't want to do it."

"So he was being blackmailed?"

"I think so. His wife isn't answering her cell and his son didn't show up at school this morning. LAPD are out looking for them as we speak. Now, when the driver does go at Sam, he's instantly killed. But he's just a little too late in the collision to kill Sam, and the way he's driving, it looks very deliberate. This guy is willing to die to save his family, but he's not willing to kill for them."

There was a long silence, and it was Callen who spoke first. "What was his name?"

"Reece Jackson. He was a prosecution attorney, so we think the killer might have chosen him as a result of a grudge. Deeks is working on a suspect list."

"I'll want to see it when it's done," Callen said. "I'm heading to the hospital now, and Kensi and I will take protection detail; I'll send Nell back to OSP. Keep us in the loop."

Kensi tilted her tablet and zoomed in to focus on one face. Eric had sent her the tape so that she could read what onlookers were saying, and the frustration was killing her. How was she supposed to watch this tape with Clara right across the room, dying to ask? With Sam on the bed in front of her, just… just _dying_? How was she supposed to live with this?

A sound interrupted her thoughts, and when she looked up Clara was staring out of the window. "Is she one of yours?"

The noise was raised voices, arguing, and Kensi suppressed a small smile when she saw, stepping out into the corridor. "Is there a problem, Bertha?" she asked the enormous nurse who had been charged with holding down the fort.

Bertha started to answer, but the other voice cut across her. "Kensi, thank God. Can you help me out here? They're not letting me do anything. I mean, I've got the kids, they want to see Sam, I can't just…" Nell trailed off, looking helplessly at Kensi. She nodded.

"It's okay, Bertha, you can let them through."

"My orders say NCIS only. She don't got no badge."

"Let them through, Bertha," Clara said, appearing behind Kensi in the doorway. Bertha met her eyes.

"You sure, ma'am? The folks that attacked your husband—"

"Are nothing to do with his colleagues," Clara finished firmly. "My husband doesn't hand out trust like popcorn in a theater. His friends can be trusted absolutely."

Bertha glanced at Clara, glared at Nell, and stepped aside.

"Oh, and if you try to keep my children away from me again, I will have your job on a silver platter."

"Any luck?" Nell asked Kensi, depositing coffee cups on the table and taking a seat. Kensi stopped the video on her tablet.

"A couple of people who were obviously involved, but nothing groundbreaking. Deeks is cross-referencing them in his suspect list, but otherwise there'll be nothing for the investigation." She switched off the tablet and put it away, glancing quickly up at the door. They had left to give Clara and the kids some privacy, but Kensi was nervous, and didn't want to let them out of her sight. "I just wish there was something more we could do. I hate sitting around like this. It isn't right, and Sam's d…" Kensi cut herself off suddenly, reminding Nell of a child about to say a naughty word.

"Dying," she said softly. "He's not. He can't. Sam is too strong, and his wife seems like she could drag anyone from death's door if they didn't have her permission to be there." Kensi laughed despite herself. That was Clara exactly.

"So why do I feel as if I'm about to lose a brother?"

"I think we all feel like that," Nell said. "But it's not going to happen."

Kensi sighed, and managed a little smile. "I hope you're right."

A second later, she had jumped to her feet. "Callen. You got anything?"

"Nothing you won't have heard from Eric," Callen said, coming to a stop in front of them. "Deeks just checked in, he's narrowed down the suspect list, but there's still one hell of a pile to go through. Nell, he's going to need your help with that back at OSP. We'll stay here on protection detail."

Nell collected her things quickly and was gone in an instant. Kensi was right. It was impossible to do nothing.

Nell slammed her hands down on the steering wheel as she hit a third red light in ten minutes. This wasn't right, it shouldn't be happening, not now. She needed to get back to OSP, to help Eric and Deeks, to help Sam. Dammit, she needed to move.

A horn blared, and she looked up to see that the light had changed. Crap. She stepped on it at once, offering apologetic looks out the window at angry drivers, and that was when she saw it.

Just a black Jeep, but a black Jeep that had nearly knocked Chris over in the parking lot at the hospital. A black Jeep that had been there when she left. A black Jeep that must have followed her this far.

She took a sudden left turn, into a residential area. The Jeep followed.

_Crap._

Her fingers shook a little as she dialled. This wouldn't be the same. The car that hit Sam hadn't been tailing him; she was going to be alright, she would not be killed. She couldn't…

"This is Ops."

"Eric? I'm being tailed," she said, cursing her voice for shaking. "I'm trying to lose it, but I don't know if I can. Can you help me?"

"Deeks is on his way," Eric said. Nell was a little too distracted to notice the tone in his voice, as he guided her to a rendezvous.

Ten minutes later, she was in the passenger seat of Deeks' car, and he had shaken not only the Jeep, but a Challenger and a Ford that had also been following Nell. What might have happened…

"You okay?" he asked her, getting back onto the highway.

"Yeah," she said, and he gave her a smile.

"It's okay, you know. I'm impressed you went so far to shaking the guy. He was doing a good job, but you did great."

Nell smiled. Deeks had been the first to warm up around her, and she always felt a little more relaxed with him than the others, with the possible exception of Eric. In another world, Nell would have had a huge crush on him. And he was _trying_. "Did they want to kill me?"

"No," he said confidently. "If they did, you'd be dead."

"Well, that just fills me with courage."

Deeks chuckled. "Don't worry. They probably just wanted the location of OSP. They'd want to inhibit the investigation, that's all. Assuming it's connected."

"They were at the hospital. The Jeep nearly ran Chris down. They're connected."

"Okay. Then we've got nothing to worry about." He pulled into a parking lot not far from OSP. "We're good."

"Okay," she said with a smile, and hopped out of the car.

As they walked, Deeks had his cell out, talking in a tone that sounded like he was straining to be relaxed. "Kensi, Nell was followed on the way back from the hospital. Yeah, she's okay. Listen, double up on security, be on the lookout for tails. We shook three on the way back here. Oh, and can the hospital staff send the tapes to Eric? Thanks."

He didn't bother with any niceties, taking care of the necessities and then returning to looking after Nell. She wondered if he was always like this in these situations. He was being so nice, so gentle, so… _careful_. It made her feel safe.

And then he dragged her to the floor.

"Gun," he hissed, shoving her behind a car, and Nell saw that he already had his pistol out. He jumped up from behind the car, shooting in about three different directions, and when he dropped back down, Nell caught hold of his arm.

"Give me your backup," she told him, and he stared at her for a second before deciding not to waste time, and pulled it from his ankle.

"Careful," he ordered, and she nodded, before going up with him and shooting at the first gun she saw. He fell to the floor in a moment, and she quickly turned on another as a bullet whizzed past her ear. The clip emptied, and she dropped back down. That bullet, a few inches… A few millimetres and she would have been in trouble! She couldn't…

"Nice shooting," Deeks said suddenly, dropping beside her and easing the gun from her grip. "You took one out and wounded another. I didn't know you could do that."

She grinned at him, but didn't speak. He nodded.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

It was less than five minutes before Nell was settled back in her own chair at her own desk in Ops. Without thinking, she had grabbed her jacket as she walked in and pulled it on at once. It was another five minutes before she realised Eric was watching her, and that was only when he had plucked up the courage to ask if she was okay.

"Yes," she said, and went back to the list Deeks had given her. There must be something here. Did that face look like the Ford's driver? Or was she imagining it?

"Nell. You're shaking."

Was she? Nell looked down at her hands, and swore internally. "Eric. Work."

He didn't stop watching her, but he fell silent, and Nell could see that he was actually working. Good. That was what she needed.

She sipped her tea. Hetty had waived the food-and-drink-in-Ops rule, just this once, and limited to one cup of chamomile tea, and it was helping. She had also been ordered not to leave OSP without an agent, as had Eric. That helped, too, in its way. She didn't want to be alone for a while yet. She wasn't sure she'd be safe. She didn't want to be killed.

"Did you collect all the necessary documents?"

"I did," Callen answered, getting up and moving to the corner of Sam's room, meeting Kensi's eyes briefly. At once she moved to distract the children, who were watching Uncle G with wide eyes.

"And?"

"And I think it's possible. What happened with Nell-"

"Indeed, Mr Callen. What happened with Nell is certainly worth considering. It seems that there are more of them out there than we ever supposed. Mr Hanna's enemies are beginning to unite."

"They're strong."

"Miss Jones took out two men herself, Mr Callen. We have the best people in the world working on this. However strong these people are. We are stronger."

"I guess that-" Callen broke off suddenly. He had heard Kensi speak.

"Sam?" was what she was saying. Clara was silent, holding tightly to Sam's hand, but they were both staring into his face, searching him. And Sam's eyes opened.


End file.
